Greetings from Copacettica

Well, I wish I had a glorious tale to submit about the wonderful world of Sobriety, and just how well things are going since I've been sober. I admit, I have been blessed in Sobriety, namely, with a whole new perspective on life. The mere fact that I am still alive and living a new life is blessing enough.

I don't want this to be yet another boring, tired diatribe anent my depressing, ongoing familial tribulations. I'm beginning to feel that to continue to discuss these matters, I am doing more harm than good, personally. (It has taken about two hours to figure out how to phrase the last 2 sentences...I still don't get it). I mean, who in the hell am I helping if I just vent about my kid for the next year, right? Do YOU really want to hear all of the emotional BS involved?

I don't think so.

I guess the point should be that I have been able to maintain a solid, spiritual grasp on my sobriety throughout this ordeal. I used to run like a fearful, terrified child from the prospect of coping with any kind of real-life drama. Change was another trigger that fueled my fear, necessitating the intake of mind altering substances.

Alcohol, for this alcoholic, was simply a coping mechanism that developed into an addiction, that developed into a way of life, that developed into a mental obsession and a physical craving that became my means to an end. Or, a means attempting to avoid an end. But, that end came several times over the course of my drinking career.

Many relationships came to an end.
Many friendships came to an end.
There were many jobs lost and opportunities missed.
And, there was that bleak week in January of 2006, in an Econo Lodge in MS in which I tried to end it, literally.

I no longer want to "end it". While life may still continue to offer me an occasional Shit Sandwich, today I am just grateful that I'm alive and able to eat it.

How's that for a former angry, misanthropic asshole? (Ummm, okay, one out of three? I'm no longer angry)

It was all made possible by trusting God, cleaning house and helping others. Oh, and I also had to stop swimming in that Petticoat Junction water tower full of booze.

I may not always make the right decision nor do I always say the right things. But, at least I'm in a sober, sound state of mind and can at least try to make a decision, rather than scurry away and veil my inadequacies with alcohol. Capisce?

More later from Copacettica